Friday, June 20, 2008

The Benefits Of Change

Let's see now, so your physiology seems to be changing a bit you say. You are nearing the age when your body doesn't seem to do anything on a regular basis as it has for the past 25 to 40 years. Your energy levels, sleep patterns, exercise regimen and concentration all seem a bit more challenging. You feel somewhat like a stranger in your own body.

Well there is some good news about "the change". At least when it comes to winter, hunting season and bears. Granted it will take a bit of adjusting initially, but lets look at the positive side of this life changing event. The benefits are numerous. To begin with think of the monthly savings, we can now put that towards fuel costs. Less time spent worrying about where the next bathroom stop is, and if you remembered to bring your travelling pocket arsenal with you. You will be as warm as a bug in a rug on a more regular basis. No longer will you have those cold feet in bed at night. Nope, instead you will become a mini Niagara Falls showering your partner with sweat. Oh so romantic. On the bright side, you will be toasty warm laying in your ground blind on the frozen tundra with the ambient air temp of minus 10 degrees F. You might even feel the need to shed a layer or two . . . or three after you've been there awhile. When you get back to camp your male comrades will comment on the sub zero temps and how cold they were, while you give them a shy smile and think to yourself "it is just right ". You become a master at layering your hunting apparel for those uncontrollable internal boiler room flare ups.

You are the first one up in the mornings (cause you no longer sleep) and have the fire stoked, coffee made and are ready to go. Your male comrades are baffled by this "new you". You once enjoyed coffee in bed and was the last to get up. They scratch their. . . well you know. So they need some time to adjust to not having to do the typical early morning chores. Trust me, they adapt very quickly. As for going on trips in bear country just think, you're no longer the BAIT. You are much safer and the playing field has definitely levelled a bit. Now is the time to go on that wild Alaskan adventure you've always dreamed about, where you're out numbered by Ursus middendorffi. Just as long as you are not the slowest one in camp, you have nothing to worry about.

In conclusion, you will enjoy a whole new perspective on everything. Your new found ability to adapt to your own internal global warming by proper layering of your clothes. Saving on your homes heating bills in the winter. Not being bungied to restrooms sporadically. Having more awake time to get done what you weren't able to the night before. More cash for gas and groceries (yea right). And finally, being able to go on that trip of a lifetime to Alaska.

Hell, life's never been better!

Women's Hunting Journal Integrity For The Hunt


Blessed said...

so what you are saying is that there IS hope - thank you so much! I'm always freezing and just stay home sometimes when I would like to go out because it is just simpler!

Terry Scoville said...

Oh yes, there is much hope and relief. Not much fun initially though. Life in most ways improves greatly! I thought it was pretty darn great before.

Holly Heyser said...

Oh Terry, you're making me want to run out and get a hysterectomy to just get it over with.

Terry Scoville said...

yep, I understand!

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